I had been single for 3 years, and completely, wholeheartedly disillusioned by men, relationships, and especially dating in the age of Tinder when I met Anthony. Between the situationships that ended up in ghosting (then the haunting with 2 am text messages), dates with people who were sexist or boring or both, figuring out which one of us was more toxic in my last relationship, and gaining more clarity on my sexuality, - my preferences, my relation to religion, and loving my body enough to enjoy it - I had all but given up. I never experienced a wild phase in college because I was in a long-distance, committed relationship at one of the most conservative universities in the country. As a life-long Christian, understanding or embracing anything about my sexuality was relatively taboo; I took these single years, begrudgingly, to get to know myself and understand how I reflected in other people and how they reflected in me.

I traveled alone: to California, Washington D.C., and around Texas. In fear of truly being alone, I spent an unhealthy amount of time with my ex, solely as the best friends we were and nothing more. His influence on new guys I tried dating was helpful at times, and frustrating and confusing (to say the least) at others. I eventually learned new men will say anything to convince you and walk away just as easily once they got bored or were more entertained by a new match. I learned to take what they said at face-value, and stopped searching for alternative meanings in their actions when they said, "I don't want a relationship right now, but I like hanging out with you." I also learned how wrong it is to be the person saying that to someone with no intention of being present the way they deserve. I also prayed a lot during this time - for Creator to show me someone real and honest, smart and compassionate, fun and silly, and who would love just as I am and want to be.

When I met Anthony while interviewing fellow millennials at a MOVE mayoral candidate forum, I was in a place where dating to create a relationship seemed pointless. If the culture shifted to having fun over building a connection, then I guess I could go along with it. I resigned the idea of romance and finding a genuine connection. Some nights I read a book or watched tv, cried a little, and allowed my hopeless romantic heart to briefly believe again.  When I was told I'd be interviewing a small business owner about voting and its importance, and walked over to begin, I was surprised to find myself deeply (mostly physically, tbh) attracted in finding out more about him. As I moved to the next group to interview, I gave my friend my business card and told her to pass it to him. On my way home that night, he crossed the street in front of me and I liked the way he walked in a self-assured way. While I was settling down into bed that night, he texted me, and asked if I'd like to join him for a drink. I already had my makeup and pants off, so I declined. We texted every day up to our first date. 

When I walked in to meet him, I was a little nervous it wouldn't go well. I had been on several first dates and adopted my best friend's mentality to have fun instead of setting wild expectations like I typically did. I'm glad I went in with a clear mind and heart space because the date ended up exceeding any expectations I would have set. He made me laugh within 5 minutes. We watched the Spurs game and drank beer before cuddling up on a swing overlooking the San Antonio River. We decided to continue our date, where he finally told me with a side smile, "You know, we've met before."
 
"Really?! Was I drunk? I would have remembered that." 
"No, we matched on Bumble but you ignored me." 
​
In complete shock, I took the first opportunity to check my Bumble app when he went to the bathroom. I immediately remembered he was the handsome guy I figured I'd have nothing in common with, but the old man-esque angles of his selfies (and not the ones of a dude who was arrogant or a hunter or racist) and the photo with his family convinced me to swipe right. Our conversation on Bumble was weird, to say the least, and I instantly remembered why I never responded. Throughout the course of our relationship I learned he's not active on social media, he didn't know what Vine was and never understood why I was laughing at different memes on Twitter. Our weird exchange on Bumble was reflective of his lack of interest in anything related to socializing via the internet, so I am always grateful we were able to fatefully connect in person. 

We went to a Spurs playoff game the night we agreed to enter into a committed relationship together. We pinky-promised to respect each other, be honest, care for each other, communicate, have fun every chance we got, enjoy every day, laugh a lot, and tell each other if ever we wanted out instead of cheating or being unfaithful. A year and a half later, we're still here enjoying each other and having a good laugh at least once every day, and a good meal nearly every day. In the beginning I was so used to conditional love, emotional manipulation, and drama that this peace felt boring. Being treated with unconditional respect and having my boundaries respected was so foreign it made me uncomfortable, and I constantly waited for the other shoe to drop. It hasn't, and I don't believe it ever will.  

Today as I walked to my car - full and very happy - I said a prayer for The Original Donut Shop. I prayed they would always be able to retain their authenticity of cooking Puro San Anto Tex-Mex food the way it was intended: with lots of (cheddar, not American, gracias!) cheese, grease, and love. I prayed they'd always be on Fredericksburg Road in their small building where the traffic builds up for them only. I prayed they never change for anyone or anything. They are an institution I've been frequenting for several years.

Today marks the 3rd time I've been able to dine-in: the Original is only open from 7 am - 2 pm every day and are ca$h only. I usually wait in their right-hand drive-thru lane on the weekend for both breakfast tacos and donuts/other breakfast pastries. You won't find any better in one location in the city, I promise. The only other times I was able to dine-in, I had their menudo and carne guisada with cheese to relieve a hangover.  #protip 

To my delighted surprise, the Original also has a few lunch plate specials with unlimited soda refills for only $5.50! I noticed one man had a large bowl of the fideo loco, which can be ordered from their regular menu. I got the Mexican Plate: a cheese enchilada, a bean and cheese chalupa, rice and beans, and 2 flour tortillas. To complete my tray, the señora placed a cup of their salsa in between the plates.

If heaven exists, there will be an Original Donut Shop waiting for me, full of viejitas speaking Spanish, while the smell of beans and tortillas permeates the air. ​

Some of the most frequent questions I'm asked by my social media community is, "How do I get active in social justice?" and "How do I get politically involved here in San Antonio?"

My advice is usually pretty brief:

• Pick a cause you care deeply about and learn as much about it as you can.

My "activism" began at a very young age, sometime in elementary school, when I was appointed as a friend to kids with special needs.  I later embraced work for marriage equality, Darfur, and against George W. Bush's administration. As an adult, I was again sparked by Ferguson and the extraducial killings of Black and Indigenous people by police and the judicial system. It became a catalyst to a journey of self-discovery and community discovery unlike anything I could've imagined. The world needs a lot of fixing by good people with good intentions. Find something(s) that speak to your servant heart!

• Find local organizations that may be already doing this work and volunteer your time or donate $$$ (They likely will be extremely happy to have your time or your $!)

When I saw Dr. Marc Lamont Hill speak a few years ago, he mentioned how people create new, unnecessary organizations when our efforts could be put to much better and more efficient use within existing ones. (This is also to say - if there isn't an organization that doesn't reflect your goals or beliefs, then consider creating something of your own.) There are local organizations who have been around for decades and are woven into the city's history for liberation. Esperanza Peace and Justice Center is an iconic San Anto organization responsible for many victories related to social justice causes. The Martinez Street Women's Center has been empowering women and girls for 13 years. Texas Organizing Project is a powerhouse ran by amazing organizers, and was instrumental in ensuring the passing of the Paid Sick Time ordinance here in SA. There are so many more worthy of mentioning so please check out my Resources to #Resist info page for more organizations and action items you may be interested in.

• Research your political candidates, find out you most align with, sign up to block-walk, phone bank, or volunteer with!

Votesmart.org is a great resource to research who your political representatives and candidates are and what they've voted or voiced for/against. (I learned a lot more I don't like about Ted Cruz this way!) Candidates' websites almost always have donation buttons and places to input your contact information.  

• Research what's on an upcoming ballot and vote with confidence  

​Ballotpedia can help you find a plethora of information based on your address! They also have easy-to-access resources about upcoming elections so you can be an informed voter who helps others be informed as well. 

Other #ProTips

• ​​​A shameless plug: follow and like my FB page, Maestranza - I regularly share community events/protests, job availability postings from organizations, and fundraising information for various causes.
• Follow other organization/cause and activist pages on social media to see upcoming happenings or calls for volunteers. Following your elected officials is also a good move (just don't read the comments whenever they post, trust me).
• When attending events, introduce yourself to others that are there in solidarity with you. I met so many people this way who have become cherished community,  a great support system, and friends in la lucha. 
• Going forward, follow national and international causes and organizations as well. When anyone suffers, we all suffer. I've learned a lot about various things, but especially about gentrification and police abuse from activists I connected with online from across the world. Liberation work requires we work together, not in competition, and it's always good to learn from people who have lived through similar experiences.


• If you are not from or near San Anto, these tips can probably be applied where ever you are.  Spend an afternoon researching and you're bound to find somewhere to connect into.
  
  I can't wait to see you out there or online!