Today begins early voting in Texas and people are already showing up in record numbers to the polls. To say I'm excited is an understatement! I believe in the power of voting as one means of enacting people power. We have much more direct work to do to see the changes we desperately need and want, but please understand voting is a piece of that large, complicated puzzle.
Check out a Bexar County Sample Ballot
Propositions A,B,C City of San Antonio Charter
I am voting NO on all 3. If approved, these props will affect every San Antonian - I believe negatively. If you'd like more information about the propositions please check out this Google Doc of info I gathered while I was researching:
Not So Easy As ABC
If you'd like to see the videos I did in collab with The DownMarket, check out all three here:
Hard Pills Series
Vote for Beto. A moldy sock would be better than Ted Cruz, but luckily O'Rourke seems like a candidate in this current political climate that I can get behind and not feel sleezy about. He has gone to every county in Texas and has an extremely well-thought platform of issues. You can check them out here, on his website. He is pro-women's rights (isn't it sad that's even a position to take?), doesn't believe children should be in cages (again, how is this even up for debate?), and understands how diverse and powerful Texas is.
This vote is extremely important because Texas is a major influencer in US politics. If Democrats with a platform like Beto's can be elected and hold this current administration to task, we as people with morality and sense, have a better shot of turning this dumpster fire around. Mid-terms are critical to regaining power after the horror that was the 2016 election.
District 20 - (re-elect) Joaquin Castro
District 21 - Joseph Kopser
District 23 - Gina Ortiz-Jones (please get Will Hurd out of there!)
District 35 - (re-elect) Lloyd Doggett (Lloyd is one of the most amazing, people-centric politicians I've ever seen. He is at so many events and is always willing to talk and listen. He stands up to the Trump administration every chance he gets. He is a true champion!)
Governor - Lupe Valdez (Greg Abbott has GOT TO GO!!!)
Lieutenant Governor - Mike Collier (THIS OFFICE IS EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAT GOVERNOR! Dan Patrick is evil.)
Attorney General - Justin Nelson
For other state offices as well as Judges, it's in your best interest to vote DEMOCRAT.
I specifically endorse: Celina Montoya and Veronica Vasquez
Where, When, What ID Do You Need?
This info is from VoteTexas.org!
You need one of SEVEN forms of ID with you at the polls:
What if they say I'm not registered and I know I registered?
Ask for a provisional ballot! It is within your rights to request and submit a provisional ballot.
What if I see something at the polls that doesn't seem legal?
Polls are required by law to have both Spanish and English speakers available if the precint has 5% or more inhabitants that speak Spanish or are of Spanish-decent. There have been many stories where people were taken advantage of and their vote was suggested by poll workers because the voter did not speak English and they did not have a translator available.
If you have or see any issues, please protect our vote and call 866-OUR-VOTE
The Texas Civil Rights Project ensures all voters are treated equal under the law.
Check out more here: https://thedownmarket.net/2018/10/08/hard-pills-its-a-political-netroot-series-episode-1-its-not-as-easy-as-a-b-c/
Trigger Warning: I will be mentioning sexual assault, rape
Today Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testified about the "alleged" assault she is a survivor of by Supreme Court Justice nominee, Brett Kavanaugh. He "allegedly" assaulted her at a party while they were in high school. The length of time between then and now is irrelevant. He claims he doesn't remember the way she has re-told the chain of events, and why would he when he wasn't the one harmed? Don't we as survivors tragically remember the worst days of our lives in explicit detail long after the sun has risen and set many, many times? How many of us have to see our abusers keep their jobs and their public respect when we've seen what they're capable of?
When I turned on the live feed, seeing her sitting at the table waiting to testify made me cry. I thought of her bravery for doing so, and I thought of all people who have tried to confront their abuser, who have tried to tell someone to help ease the pain of it, and especially of those who keep in inside for fear or shame or a multitude of other emotions. I am this person.
Because, yeah, #metoo.
A few years ago I shared my story of an incident that happened to me at Baylor while I was in school. The first time I shared it I explained I never told anyone because I knew no one would believe me, and even I knew I couldn't do anything to help myself. The overall feelings of helplessness, bitterness, guilt, rage, worthlessness, fear, and like no one could ever truly understand or help, bore down on me for years. As "Cranes in the Sky" put it so perfectly, "I tried to drink it away, I tried to dance it away, I tried to change it with my hair. I tried to work it away but that just made me even sadder. I slept it away, I sexed it away, I read it away."
I was sexually assaulted again a few times during this period of running into walls and finding only myself.
None of that filled the void of confronting myself and allowing myself to feel all of these things. I had to stop using unhealthy situationships disguised as balms and tequila shots disguised as bandaids to ease the sting of my supposed failure and weakness. I channeled my rage to finding ways I could warn others and ensure abusers and rapists faced, at the least, a public form of accountability through shame and ostracizing from the communities they frequented. And it hurt much more when people came to their defense or gave them space to occupy where they could likely harm more women. Their clout meant more than the truth of those who survived and were tired of feeling unsafe.
The truth was and is that I always had power, and it's more than ok to process everything I feel, no matter how conflicting or scary, in a way and timeline that worked best for me. There was a quote floating around online that says, "healing is nonlinear," and I like to remember that on days like today. I finally now feel like I've healed enough to not let these feelings control my energy.
One practice I want to share with you who are reading this and feeling the same, who have maybe cried today, and the last year, too is one that has helped me gain closure and empower myself.
Whenever I have unresolved feelings with someone or someone has hurt me, I write a letter to them. I try to put all energy I've felt about them into this letter. I end it with, "I release you from me. I release myself from you and this energy. I promise to work to be better after this release." Then I go outside and I burn this letter while I pray and repeat the last lines to myself. And I let it go. I often still have lingering feelings after this ritual, but I have noticed the act of doing it helps me feel more in control of my life and how I respond to triggering things henceforth.
I wish you all love today, and every day. I believe you and I stand with you.
Keep up with my musings about political chismé, life, my relationship, food, San Anto history, my dog, and everything in between.